My first self-initiated Compassion event was a few weeks ago during an annual summer festival in my community. I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly the event coordinators agreed to allow me to have a booth. I was even more pleased when I learned that my table would be right in the midst of food vendors and other events, plenty of foot traffic!
I prayed going into the event that God would be glorified and that His will would be done by this event, not my own. Yet as I sat, stood, and prowled around the table full of precious faces, some smiling, some looking a bit frightened or confused, some even smirking into the camera my while hundreds of pedestrians walked by, my confidence grew into impatience, which grew into frustration, which grew into outright anger.
There was no mistaking the message of the table. A 4x3 cardboard message board invited passers-by to change a life by sponsoring a child. The table was covered with faces of children and the tablecloth declared that Compassion exists to release children from poverty in Jesus' name! I know the message was not discreet because many slowed their walk just a fraction to read the sign. Yet onward they walked to purchase their bags of kettle corn and ride the giant purple super slide.
To be fair, I did get to speak to two individuals in depth about the ministry of compassion and they both were very supportive of the cause, though this support stopped far short of taking home a child packet. Not a single child was sponsored that day, not one. I very nearly wept in disappointment and anger. Blown glass unicorns will sell, tye dyed onesies will move without a whole lot of effort, event the overpriced tacky handmade brooches found homes that day but not a single person felt the need to change the world of a child.
Granted, I am not much of a sales-person. I will not go out and work the crowd neither will I try to "pitch" Compassion's ministry to the fence-sitters. I wholeheartedly believe God can and does provide sponsors for His children without the use of my excellent marketing skills. Moreover I must admit that there is a part of me that is not willing to do so, simply because sponsorship should not have to be "sold." If the world made any sense at all, people would be knocking one another over for the chance to be a child sponsor. The realist in me knows that this is not and will never be the case. If you truly want people to get behind a cause, you often have to lead (read: drag) them by the hand there. But this is still something I am not willing to do. Sponsorship is the privilege and honor of the sponsor and not one I would bestow on one unwilling to participate.
But the point is, that regardless of my beliefs about sponsorship, Compassion's ministry, people, or God's will for His children, I was disappointed by humanity and myself at the end of that day. Yet, how faithful is our God! As I labored over the "should-have"s, the Lord gently reminded me that these were His children that I was grieving over, and He had not forgotten them. He also reminded me that I am no more responsible for the failure of someone to volunteer for sponsorship than I am for their willingness to sponsor a child; He convicts hearts and He deserves the glory! I suddenly remembered that while I was sitting at that table I was able to pray for each an every one of those children, for their families, and for their Child Development Centers. It struck me that perhaps this was the real reason the Lord had me go through the motions of having a sponsorship event, perhaps He simply wanted to give me the opportunity to pray for these precious children!
Since that event I have continued to struggle with disappointment and a sense of failure, yet my heart knows that God is faithful and He cares for His children far more than I ever could. So I continue to pray for them, not knowing what their future holds, only that it is full of good plans, to prosper and not to harm (Jer 29:11). Just as the grace of God compels us run from sin and pursue righteousness and good works, so also the goodness and omnipotence of God constrains us to labor as part of His will. I will not stop pleading the case for the helpless and lost and communicating the urgency of this need to the people around me, but I must know that I do this simply because I am obedient to God, not because it produces visible results. I am a Compassion Advocate not because it is such an instantly gratifying job or because I always see results, but because the Lord has called me to do so.
On a brighter note, as a result of hosting that Compassion table, I have had the opportunity to explain to one of my coworkers about the ministry of compassion and he has shown a great deal of interest. I continue to pray, knowing that it may come to nothing, but really what do I know about God's will other than it is greater than my own?